Finally, the beginning

I have promised for over a year now that I was going to start my blog again.
So here goes, Im baaaccck.

About a year ago around this time, I was so extremely unhappy. I had to move my family 45 minutes from everything that they were accustomed to, in order to save money. I felt as if I failed my girls, that I was an embarrassment to them. And let me tell you times were hard, I was in school, and that was beyond challenging. I got sick every other month. I was working 3 jobs. My then 15 yro was acting out like you would not believe and my 11 year old was wearing this brave face, because she knew I was so stressed and unhappy. To add fuel the "safe haven" we were living in, proved to be the exact opposite. I eventually had to move us from that place and we lived with friends and commuted from Greenville, NC for 6 months. Those were the toughest 6 months of my life. By the grace of God we planted roots in November 2011, right in time for Thanksgiving. We were back in Raleigh, back in my favorite neighborhood, back where we belonged! And it was well worth the wait. We are very content, blessed, grateful and happy? I know you wonder why the question mark, but are we truly seeking happiness or just standing on the sidelines waiting for the ish to hit the fan again.

They say that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I live and carry the weight of that statement with me with every day.

So at last check I am still here, still living, breathing, existing. Yesterday, I finally had my own personal "ah-ha" moment. Oprah you would be proud.
I was watching the OWN network, Super Soul Sunday to be exact.

Iyanla Vanzant was on the edition of life class, they aired the 2007 Oprah show with Elizabeth Gilbert and real life individuals who were dealing with "life and death"

I learned something from all of this
Iyanla ---- letting go of anger
Elizabeth Gilbert ---- getting to the core of my happiness and sitting with that epiphany
and the guest individuals ----- properly grieving the death of Old Sakeya

I have always had a bucket list and now I have a "bettering myself list" -- this is a working document.

I am on a quest to being better than I was the day before no matter how crazy my day was or whatever happened.

Here's the beginnings of the list
1. Write down the best and the worst thing that happened on each day
2. Read Eat, Pray, Love and suggest it to three people I love.
3. Run. In October I ran 3 times a week 3 miles a day and I felt so free and clear.
4. Tithe
5. and finally Breathe, just breathe and to follow my breath as I exhale

This is just the beginning. I am writing this as a self help quest for myself but I know that I will touch someone, somewhere, out there ..... okay yeah that was corny.

Nitey nite dolls