In a perfect world, I want so desperately to devote my life to blogging every single day and it doesn't happen. I know that you are disappointed that you have not been able to read my amazing entries everyday, well I am too. I do apologize and I hope that you will forgive me and charge it to my heart.
I know that this blog is entitled Happiness is ... so I decided to talk about was has happened in my life since I last blogged. February seemed to be a month of total awareness of me. I spent a great deal of time trying to figure myself out and understand my true meaning of life and how I needed to order my steps according to God's plan, and not my plan.
I met a guy that I felt was pretty amazing, normally, in my most ridiculous fashion, I would make this man everything in 2.2, this time I took it slow. I needed to feel him out. At that point I knew him for a month and a half, what I knew about him was he had 4 boys the oldest 20 and he youngest 2, wooozah, right?! He worked ALOT! He didn't drink, smoke or curse. He was a perfect gentleman ....HE LOVED THE LORD. The conversations that we had he expressed that in his past relationship the woman he was with was more concerned with what he could give her than anything else. He was looking for someone that had a good heart, morals and was evenly yoked with him. I'll take it. piece of cake, right? Well I'm not sure, dealing with other people can always be a pill. I saw him about once a week, he cancelled alot because of work. This was unnerving to me because I can be a bit impatient. For some reason I felt as if I needed to just be patient and just wait .....
So that is exactly what I did, without going into too much detail about how my patience was tested, I stuck and stayed, he stuck and stayed too and now we are a couple, officially, like the whole, "will you be my girlfriend check yes or no"
The best part about the whole process is, we had our first kiss after 2 and a half months and have still remained intimate only through talking. The way it should be, I'm dating my husband and I love it, God put this together and I am very grateful.
to
be
continued
Monday, April 9, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Slipping
Okay so I did miss a day, tsk tsk! shame on me! Well here goes.
Today while talking to a really good friend, I explained to her why I had decided to even start blogging and even more importantly why this all of a sudden quest for "true personal happiness"
You like how I put that in quotes right? Well for years and years I have been on the search literally the search (flashlight in the daytime) for a mate, my man, my boo, my soulmate. Never did I ever even consider the reason why this person was so far away was because I had no idea what the hell made me happy. I knew that I could experience happiness, laughing, having a good time and etc. But true unadulterated happiness, to the core, unshaken, unmovable happiness, nope nope and nope. I had not even explored the tip of the iceberg, let alone what was beneath the surface. I was so delusional because in reality happiness should not be attached to someone or something. Both can be taken in an instance and there goes your happiness. I feel like there is a deeper meaning to everything. ESPECIALLY HAPPINESS
So I pondered this further today.
What makes me happy???? Truly what makes me happy? The first thing that popped in my mind was having a lifetime supply of Bounty paper towel, toilet paper and cleaning supplies in my house. (I am shaking my head at myself) ... But nonetheless, even in pondering this, my mind quickly ran to this notion, "well what will so and so think if I do this or that!" BOOOONNNGGG! Wrong answer! its my happiness, who cares what they think. IT'S MY HAPPINESS. So that's where I am today. To truly make me happy, and dont care about what the next person thinks.
Just think about how we look at people who base or bungee jump, walk on fire and jump out of planes. We say "they are crazy" but what if that makes them happy? How is this our business and who are we to judge? So I challenge you to write a list of what makes you happy, I did. If you feel like you are having a bad day, a bad moment, or whatever distracts you, refer back to your list. It can become your mantra. I really believe that if we spent more time concentrating on our own personal happiness the balance in our life would even out on its own. And we can all do better so for all you self righteous people out there im kicking over your soap box.
LOVE YA
xo
Today while talking to a really good friend, I explained to her why I had decided to even start blogging and even more importantly why this all of a sudden quest for "true personal happiness"
You like how I put that in quotes right? Well for years and years I have been on the search literally the search (flashlight in the daytime) for a mate, my man, my boo, my soulmate. Never did I ever even consider the reason why this person was so far away was because I had no idea what the hell made me happy. I knew that I could experience happiness, laughing, having a good time and etc. But true unadulterated happiness, to the core, unshaken, unmovable happiness, nope nope and nope. I had not even explored the tip of the iceberg, let alone what was beneath the surface. I was so delusional because in reality happiness should not be attached to someone or something. Both can be taken in an instance and there goes your happiness. I feel like there is a deeper meaning to everything. ESPECIALLY HAPPINESS
So I pondered this further today.
What makes me happy???? Truly what makes me happy? The first thing that popped in my mind was having a lifetime supply of Bounty paper towel, toilet paper and cleaning supplies in my house. (I am shaking my head at myself) ... But nonetheless, even in pondering this, my mind quickly ran to this notion, "well what will so and so think if I do this or that!" BOOOONNNGGG! Wrong answer! its my happiness, who cares what they think. IT'S MY HAPPINESS. So that's where I am today. To truly make me happy, and dont care about what the next person thinks.
Just think about how we look at people who base or bungee jump, walk on fire and jump out of planes. We say "they are crazy" but what if that makes them happy? How is this our business and who are we to judge? So I challenge you to write a list of what makes you happy, I did. If you feel like you are having a bad day, a bad moment, or whatever distracts you, refer back to your list. It can become your mantra. I really believe that if we spent more time concentrating on our own personal happiness the balance in our life would even out on its own. And we can all do better so for all you self righteous people out there im kicking over your soap box.
LOVE YA
xo
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
My Quest for Happiness today .... yeah ok!
So today my ability to remain happy was challenged like whoa! If it wasn't an eradict driver in the carpool lane it was the fact that I couldn't remember my locker combination at work.
Now, just so you all understand I do lead a very complicated existence. People say to me all the time. "I have no idea how you do it" I reply coyly all the time, its Jesus, I don't run this show.
Everything I do I take Christ with me, with Him I can't fail. However the spirit of aggravation creeps up like Swiper the Fox from Dora the Explorer, trying to take me out of the game. SHEESH
It wasn't until I talked to my mommy today that I said "you know what people are going to be ridiculous NO MATTER HOW I REACT, so Im done stressing over it." *sidebar* Maybe my eye will stop twitching now.
So as it stands today was still amazing, the sun was shining bright and warm, I smiled more than I frowned and I survived. And I don't think I held my breath once.
I'm in control of my happiness and either I am going to be happy or I am not. Its all up to me.
The lessons that I learned today was, its not necessary to react to problems with "I'm a G attitude" and "You better breath girl"
Love and blessings to you all
Now, just so you all understand I do lead a very complicated existence. People say to me all the time. "I have no idea how you do it" I reply coyly all the time, its Jesus, I don't run this show.
Everything I do I take Christ with me, with Him I can't fail. However the spirit of aggravation creeps up like Swiper the Fox from Dora the Explorer, trying to take me out of the game. SHEESH
It wasn't until I talked to my mommy today that I said "you know what people are going to be ridiculous NO MATTER HOW I REACT, so Im done stressing over it." *sidebar* Maybe my eye will stop twitching now.
So as it stands today was still amazing, the sun was shining bright and warm, I smiled more than I frowned and I survived. And I don't think I held my breath once.
I'm in control of my happiness and either I am going to be happy or I am not. Its all up to me.
The lessons that I learned today was, its not necessary to react to problems with "I'm a G attitude" and "You better breath girl"
Love and blessings to you all
Monday, January 30, 2012
Finally, the beginning
I have promised for over a year now that I was going to start my blog again.
So here goes, Im baaaccck.
About a year ago around this time, I was so extremely unhappy. I had to move my family 45 minutes from everything that they were accustomed to, in order to save money. I felt as if I failed my girls, that I was an embarrassment to them. And let me tell you times were hard, I was in school, and that was beyond challenging. I got sick every other month. I was working 3 jobs. My then 15 yro was acting out like you would not believe and my 11 year old was wearing this brave face, because she knew I was so stressed and unhappy. To add fuel the "safe haven" we were living in, proved to be the exact opposite. I eventually had to move us from that place and we lived with friends and commuted from Greenville, NC for 6 months. Those were the toughest 6 months of my life. By the grace of God we planted roots in November 2011, right in time for Thanksgiving. We were back in Raleigh, back in my favorite neighborhood, back where we belonged! And it was well worth the wait. We are very content, blessed, grateful and happy? I know you wonder why the question mark, but are we truly seeking happiness or just standing on the sidelines waiting for the ish to hit the fan again.
They say that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I live and carry the weight of that statement with me with every day.
So at last check I am still here, still living, breathing, existing. Yesterday, I finally had my own personal "ah-ha" moment. Oprah you would be proud.
I was watching the OWN network, Super Soul Sunday to be exact.
Iyanla Vanzant was on the edition of life class, they aired the 2007 Oprah show with Elizabeth Gilbert and real life individuals who were dealing with "life and death"
I learned something from all of this
Iyanla ---- letting go of anger
Elizabeth Gilbert ---- getting to the core of my happiness and sitting with that epiphany
and the guest individuals ----- properly grieving the death of Old Sakeya
I have always had a bucket list and now I have a "bettering myself list" -- this is a working document.
I am on a quest to being better than I was the day before no matter how crazy my day was or whatever happened.
Here's the beginnings of the list
1. Write down the best and the worst thing that happened on each day
2. Read Eat, Pray, Love and suggest it to three people I love.
3. Run. In October I ran 3 times a week 3 miles a day and I felt so free and clear.
4. Tithe
5. and finally Breathe, just breathe and to follow my breath as I exhale
This is just the beginning. I am writing this as a self help quest for myself but I know that I will touch someone, somewhere, out there ..... okay yeah that was corny.
Nitey nite dolls
So here goes, Im baaaccck.
About a year ago around this time, I was so extremely unhappy. I had to move my family 45 minutes from everything that they were accustomed to, in order to save money. I felt as if I failed my girls, that I was an embarrassment to them. And let me tell you times were hard, I was in school, and that was beyond challenging. I got sick every other month. I was working 3 jobs. My then 15 yro was acting out like you would not believe and my 11 year old was wearing this brave face, because she knew I was so stressed and unhappy. To add fuel the "safe haven" we were living in, proved to be the exact opposite. I eventually had to move us from that place and we lived with friends and commuted from Greenville, NC for 6 months. Those were the toughest 6 months of my life. By the grace of God we planted roots in November 2011, right in time for Thanksgiving. We were back in Raleigh, back in my favorite neighborhood, back where we belonged! And it was well worth the wait. We are very content, blessed, grateful and happy? I know you wonder why the question mark, but are we truly seeking happiness or just standing on the sidelines waiting for the ish to hit the fan again.
They say that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I live and carry the weight of that statement with me with every day.
So at last check I am still here, still living, breathing, existing. Yesterday, I finally had my own personal "ah-ha" moment. Oprah you would be proud.
I was watching the OWN network, Super Soul Sunday to be exact.
Iyanla Vanzant was on the edition of life class, they aired the 2007 Oprah show with Elizabeth Gilbert and real life individuals who were dealing with "life and death"
I learned something from all of this
Iyanla ---- letting go of anger
Elizabeth Gilbert ---- getting to the core of my happiness and sitting with that epiphany
and the guest individuals ----- properly grieving the death of Old Sakeya
I have always had a bucket list and now I have a "bettering myself list" -- this is a working document.
I am on a quest to being better than I was the day before no matter how crazy my day was or whatever happened.
Here's the beginnings of the list
1. Write down the best and the worst thing that happened on each day
2. Read Eat, Pray, Love and suggest it to three people I love.
3. Run. In October I ran 3 times a week 3 miles a day and I felt so free and clear.
4. Tithe
5. and finally Breathe, just breathe and to follow my breath as I exhale
This is just the beginning. I am writing this as a self help quest for myself but I know that I will touch someone, somewhere, out there ..... okay yeah that was corny.
Nitey nite dolls
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